Things I Have Learned About 3 Year Olds

In a few days, my youngest child will celebrate her 4th birthday. As I reflect on the young lives of both my children, here are some of the things I have learned about 3 year olds. Do these ring true with 3 year olds that you know?

1. 3 year olds are CONFIDENT. They have figured out that there are things that they can do. They have discovered that they do things well. They are getting taller and they are developing better motor skills. They are gaining independence and they can do some things without constant supervision.

2. 3 year olds are PROUD. They are proud of themselves for the things they are learning and for their art work and for their exercise and for….whatever they do makes them proud.

3. 3 year olds are INDEPENDENT. They want to do it themselves and, lots of time, they can!

4. 3 year olds are FUNNY! They say funny things and they do funny things and they see the world in a unique, funny way.

5. 3 year olds need some QUIET every now and then. They will not necessarily ask for it, but they will appreciate a little time when they can be still and quiet and be by themselves.

6. 3 year olds still NEED A NAP. It doesn’t have to be a long one but they do need some nap time each day. One great trick to getting them to nap is to tell them, “You do not have to go to sleep but you have to be in your bed and you have to be quiet.”

7. 3 year olds still like to SNUGGLE and HUG! From what every parent always says, there will come a day (and it will arrive too soon) that they won’t want to acknowledge you in any way, much less want to touch you. I don’t know when that will happen to me but, until it does, we snuggle and hug A LOT!

Life After Baseball

Before the game yesterday, our son was on a team tied for 2nd place in a league with 12 teams. They were playing the first place team. The first place team had not lost a game all year; our team had only lost one. It was a big game!

All last week, my son came home from school and practiced in the back yard. He worked on his hitting; I threw him ground balls and reminded him to get in front of the ball. He played with anyone that even thought of approaching our driveway because he knew it was a big game. Yesterday, as he was getting his uniform on, I overheard him reminding himself (like he obviously heard from his coaches) to 1) play hard, 2) try your best, and 3) have a good time.

“What if I hit a home run every time I bat?” he asked as we drove to the field. “That would be exciting,” I answered.

The game was a good one. The score was close and both teams made good plays. They watched their coaches and they cheered for each other. When the game was over, our team had lost a close game. As they have done all year, regardless of the outcome, they lined up and shook hands with the other team. The first boy in line was carrying a homemade flag with the team logo on it, showing his pride. Another boy turned a cartwheel as he finished shaking hands. Most of them “ran the bases” after the game and anxiously ran to find out what the snack would be. It would have been nice for them to have won. It is better, though, that they played hard, tried their best, and had a good time.

My husband and I spent our walk to the car heaping praise on our son for his effort on the field. Just as we reached the parking lot, he asked “Where are we going for dinner?” I guess there really is life after baseball!

10 Very Good Things About Youth Baseball

Too often, the things that are newsworthy about youth sports are negative. Without a doubt, there are too many examples (even 1 is more than we need) of parents and coaches that put too much pressure on children and adopt expectations for them that are beyond their abilities. Certainly, the dugouts and bleachers are littered with fathers (and mothers) that are attempting to live vicariously through the children they are suiting up and sending into the field.

In spite of the negative things that exist in youth sports, there are places where some balance exists between only playing for fun and playing to win at all costs. My son is playing t-ball this year. I don’t expect that I’ll ever see him on a Major League roster but that is not the point. What matters is that…

1. He is on a team and learning the aspects of what that means.

2. He is participating in his community and making connections with people that he might not otherwise meet.

3. He is being active and playing a game that he likes.

4. He is gaining confidence in skills he has had previously and learning new skills to add to his abilities.

5. He likes the uniform!

6. He is having fun playing and we (his father, sister, and I) are having fun watching and cheering for him.

7. He is seeing adult men act in positive and responsible manners toward children.

8. He is learning that he can contribute to the success of the team without hitting a home run.

9. He thinks that the dirtiness of his uniform is an indication of how he played. It is CERTAINLY an indication of how much fun he had!

10. He sees that getting a game ball is something to strive for AND to be proud of!

He actually received a game ball early in the season and he still has it right by his bed to look at each day. Tell me that is not a very good thing!

Covering Tracks

While the rest of the world was waiting for the next American Idol contestant to be sent home, I was trying to cover the tracks of an incompetent tooth fairy. I managed to bluff my way through the worst of it but I had to finish the job and try to decide whether or not my bluff had worked. Here is what happened next…

With the hope of more money to come in his mind, the son headed out for school. He seemed relatively unscarred at the thought that the tooth fairy had forgotten him. The mom, still not sure whether he went for the explanation or just pretended to, wasn’t sure what to do next. How could she go through the day feeling like the absolute WORST tooth fairy in the history of the world (not to mention feeling like a pretty bad mom on top of that)? She went back to the son’s room; removed the tiny tooth; and deposited another dime in the tooth fairy box. That way, it would look like the tooth fairy had returned during the school day. The mom could explain that she hadn’t seen her come and go again because she had been there while the mom was out running errands. Perfect! Perfect, that is, except for the nagging feeling of having let her son down for no good reason. So, she did what any good wife would do. She called her husband so he could join her misery!

He answered his work phone with the voice that indicated he had checked the caller ID before picking up the phone.

“Can you think of anything that WE might have forgotten last night?” she asked.

He replied, “Well, both children were accounted for at bedtime. What did we forget?”

Because the younger child was close by, she told the short version of the story in a cryptic language that he was supposed to be able to figure out using the occasional words that she spelled out. After a couple of minutes, he caught on and the sinking feeling of wanting to put himself in the tooth fairy box began to grip him. She explained the story that they would BOTH tell when they were all together that evening. Quietly, he said “I’ll feel bad about this all day. I am officially one half of the 2 worst parents in the world!”

Knowing that her work with him was a success, she answered “I know. I didn’t want to feel this bad all by myself! See you later.”

The son arrived home from school with no comment about his tooth or the reaction of his classmates to his having lost it. Absolutely nothing that indicated what he was feeling (or what he believed about his treatment from the tooth fairy). Sometime before dinner, the mom asked if he had checked the tooth fairy box again. He seemed totally uninterested when he said, “Yea. I checked it.”

“And?” asked the mom, trying not to seem to anxious.

“She came back,” he said, still not terribly interested.

By now, the mom was acting like she was folding a shirt and straightening the covers on his bed. “Did she leave anything this time?”

“Another dime,” he answered. “Now I have 11.”

The mom was gaining confidence in the story but getting tired of having to play it out. “I knew she would come back,” she said.

“Yes,” the son answered. “She must have really needed my tooth!”

Tooth Fairy Incompetence

I have indisputable, undeniable evidence that our tooth fairy should be fired! On top of that, I have an admission of guilt. No, she didn’t make remarks about a women’s basketball team and she didn’t claim to know or be the father of Anna Nicole’s baby! She did, however, commit a terrible blunder. As much as I hate to admit it, what follows is a true story!

TUESDAY EVENING – After what seems like months of talking about loose teeth and watching him wiggle the loose ones for anyone that would watch, a son lost his “first” tooth while eating dinner at a restaurant. The dad managed to get him to the restroom before it came completely out (thus, making sure that he didn’t swallow it). Upon returning to the table, they nestled it safely in the change pocket of the mom’s billfold for safe travel until it could be placed into the official “tooth fairy box”.

Technically, this is the 2nd tooth that the son has lost but the first one that came out naturally. When he was almost 2, he fell and broke the corner off one of his front teeth. It was checked but, because there was no nerve damage and he was not in pain, the Mom and Dad were advised to leave it alone. They did until about a year and a half later when that tooth abcessed and it had to be extracted. The emergency extraction was the son’s first trip to the dentist and that is WHY he already had a “tooth fairy box”.

The family managed to get home from the restaurant; place the tooth in the box; and place the box under the son’s pillow without incident. The tooth fairy carefully counted out some change that would fit in the box and placed it on her nightstand. It would be the last thing she saw when she turned out her light and that would be a reminder. Or so she thought!

WEDNESDAY MORNING – The mom awoke and went to the kitchen to find the son sitting at the kitchen table staring at the official tooth fairy box. The mom, not able to see the box yet, said “Good morning”. No response. About that time, the mom realized what the son was staring at and what a terrible slacker the tooth fairy had been. How could she forget to pay for the first tooth this child had lost? The mom asked what was in the box, knowing that it still held the tiny tooth and wishing that she could, somehow, disappear into the box herself! Again, the son didn’t speak, but quietly opened the box and held it up for the mom to see.

“She forgot,” he said. He might as well have ripped his mom’s heart out with his bare hands.

The mom said, “What do you mean she forgot? The tooth fairy doesn’t forget! Let’s go look in your room and see what we can find.”

The son’s heart wasn’t in it but he followed his mom up the stairs and toward his room. When they were close the to bed, the mom asked “Which pillow did you look under?” He pointed and didn’t seem to notice when the tooth fairy managed to slide some money under the pillow and declare that it must have been there all along. He commented, like he was talking to himself, “I know I looked there before.” The tooth fairy breathed a small sigh of relief when he eagerly grabbed the coins and started to count. She even believed that she had dodged a bullet and averted the crisis when he said, “She still didn’t take the tooth.” Oh yeah…the tooth! How does the mom explain that the tooth fairy didn’t take the tooth?

“I bet she just forgot it. You should put it back in the box and leave it on your nightstand. I am pretty sure the tooth fairy will come back for it.” He didn’t respond to that because he was busy counting his 10 dimes and putting them in his coin sorter. In a minute, when the mom thought that he hadn’t taken the bait about the tooth fairy’s return, he said “Maybe she’ll forget that she has already given me money!”

TO BE CONTINUED…

SShhhh…It’s Nap Time!

Without a doubt, my favorite time of the day is the first 10 -15 minutes in the early afternoon after I have tucked everyone in for naps. Those naps are one of the reasons I have any shred of sanity left!

From the time my children were infants, they have napped every afternoon. I can count (almost on one hand) the number of days they have skipped nap and that includes Christmas, Thanksgiving and birthday celebrations. I have planned my mornings and days around their naps and I have not regretted that.

I have listened to other mothers speak of their 2 yr. old and say “Well, she just gave up her nap.” Some of those same people have asked me, “How do you get yours to nap?” I admit that I haven’t always known how to answer that. I am certainly no “baby whisperer” and there is no trick!

Here is what I have done to get my children to nap: I HAVE NEVER GIVEN THEM A CHOICE NOT TO! I make sure we are home before or immediately after lunch. They have a little down time after lunch (read a book or watch a short video). Then, they get comfortable and get in the bed. I close the shades and tuck them in. They don’t get to come out until they have been asleep and I check them to make sure they actually go to sleep!

My children don’t know what napping in the car means. We have had lots of play dates and lunch dates and mornings at the park but we watch the time and we don’t skip nap. There is no whining or fussing or complaining. It is just nap time because that is what it has always been after lunch. My 6 yr. old took an afternoon nap until, literally, the day before he started kindergarten last summer. He still naps on weekends and holidays. When my 3 yr. old gets sleepy, she goes to get ready for nap and calls me to tuck her in.

My husband believes a nap on his off days are part of his unalienable rights! I nap some days. Mostly, I enjoy that time when the house is light and still and quiet. I find that to be very different than when the house is quiet at night. Nap time gives me a break and it helps me gear up for the rest of the day. It is a time that I can do a little work or make a phone call or read a book or…

In a couple of years, both children will be in school and we won’t nap with the regularity that we do now. When that happens, I will miss daily nap time but I won’t be sorry that, for a time, I built my days around it!