Something to be Proud Of

I have no connection to Virginia Tech. Until Monday of this week, what little bit I knew about the school was related to it athletic programs and nothing else. Today, because of the horrific events that have taken place there, I know more about the school than I ever expected to. As a total outsider, I am proud of what I have seen.

In spite of the efforts of the media to lay blame in a situation that cannot be analyzed with any rationality, EVERY single student that I have seen interviewed has been calm, articulate, genuine and loyal. Obviously, they are stunned and heartbroken. Admittedly, they are confused and disillusioned. Certainly, they are afraid. Yet, they exhibit confidence in their Virginia Tech Family. If their reactions are any indication, it is a family held in genuine esteem and love. Undoubtedly, they have questions and, like all of us, they struggle with “what if”. They wouldn’t be human if they didn’t. What I see, however, is maturity beyond their years in the way they are handling the uncertainties.

First, they are gathering as a family and focusing on each other. There are too many stories to mention of the ways that students have contacted each other and made sure that friends and acquaintances were accounted for. They are connecting with their own biological families and drawing strength from those relationships.

Second, they are evaluating their roles in the Virginia Tech community and are offering themselves and their abilities to repair the damage this incident has caused. They are committed to something greater than themselves and they are determined that this not be the reason that people know about Virginia Tech.

Third, they are showing the rest of us that, in spite of WHY this happened, that there is more to Virginia Tech than this senseless, horrible event. From the law enforcement officials to the medical staffs to the university staff, I have heard nothing but praise for the students of the school. I get the feeling that those feelings of pride would have been expressed whether this event had happened or not!

Finally, they are standing up for their family, in spite of its possible flaws. I have not seen 1 student question the decision making as the event unfolded; I have not seen 1 student blame the university for what was beyond their control; I have not seen 1 student speak ill of the shooter. Does that mean that they are naïve or unfeeling or apathetic? No, it means that, like most families, they need to deal with their shortcomings privately – in their own way and in their own time.

What I have seen this week is a group of young people that are loyal to each other, loyal to their authorities, and loyal to their community. That is something to be proud of!

Eugene Robinson Column

This is a good article that goes along with my thoughts from the earlier post about Virginia Tech.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/17/AR2007041701461.html

A Lesson In Not Knowing Why

A couple of years ago, my husband, then 39 years old, had a major heart attack. He was not a smoker; he had no family history of heart attack; he was not a drug user; he was slightly overweight and had slightly high cholesterol.

During our time in the emergency room, numerous doctors, nurses and residents questioned us about his prior medical history, activities, medications, etc. More than once during the night, they questioned us about whether or not he had used drugs. At one point, one of the residents said “Are you sure you’re not a smoker?” By that time, the medical staff knew that he had, indeed, suffered a heart attack. What they didn’t know was why. On paper, there was nothing they could point to as “the cause”. They were confused and frustrated and uncertain. It was natural for them, as doctors (and as humans), to want to give a complete and thorough explanation of why. In our confusion and fear, we would have gladly accepted a reason! After all, there is some comfort in knowing what to blame and knowing why something happens. It makes things easier to process. It makes things “fit”.

Some days later, after receiving 2 stents in an artery that was 100% blocked, my husband was told, “We don’t know why you had a heart attack. There is really no reason why someone of your age with your history should have one, but you did.” It was not easy, but we had to come to grips with the fact that we would never know exactly why.

It would be wonderful if there was some way to make sense of what happened on Monday at Virginia Tech. Knowing what was going through the shooter’s mind would make it all “fit” better in our heads. Finding something wrong with the response of the university or the demeanor of the law enforcement spokesman would allow us to focus on something other than the uncertainty that surrounds us all. None of those things, however, would satisfy any part of the questions that we seek to answer about its senselessness and waste of young lives full of potential.

I don’t believe for one instant that anyone associated with the university or the responding law enforcement did anything LESS than what they believed was in the best interest of everyone on the campus. If there had been ANY indication of what was to come, I have no doubt that any number of the decision makers would have made their way to Norris Hall to take the place of the students that were killed!

In the days and weeks to come, our time will be best spent praying for the Virginia Tech community instead of looking for targets for our blame. They don’t have any more answers then we do about why it happened and they have a campus full of young lives to put back together!